low sex drive causing relationship problems...

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low sex drive causing relationship problems...

Postby annon » Thu 7 Jul, 2011 12:07

I have not been on top of things (no pun intended) for months with several stays in hospital and plenty of time feeling poorly whilst out. My sex drive is low, and now my girlfriend is telling me she feels undesired. Truth be told, I am not that into sex anymore (am I odd??). This i can foresee being a problem.

In addition whenever she gets upset over it, I makes me isolate myself more from her. I want to acknowledge her feelings on the matter, but it makes me turn off from sex even more when we have 'those talks'. We have not had sex in over a month, and I am still batting a chest infection. I feel like I am being selfish, but that in this instance I am entitled to be. Any one have any ideas?
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Postby telamere » Thu 7 Jul, 2011 13:04

I think this is extremely common when people are unwell for a protracted period, particularly if their lung function is low. Because sex is quote a big oxygen demand on the body, as with exercise and eating. So if they lungs are under pressure it makes sense to get rid of the desire for the activities it can't manage.

Its very common in relationships where sex becomes an issue for non-sexual contact to go out of the window as well. That causes a lot of the relationship strain. I would discuss it with your doc and maybe take her with you to an appointment. Maybe it will be easier coming from the doc that its a natural oxygen saving strategy on the part of the CF body. Maybe once she understands it has nothing to do with your feelings for her you will be able too increase your non-sexual contact and frequency of kissing. If you flirt with her and complement her it will reassure her then hopefully she will be able to wait until your health and desire pick up with no damage to the long term prospects of the relationship.

Telamere X
All advice is my best guess scenario based on my knowledge and experience. Please discuss my suggestions with the appropriate medical professional (though I thought that went without saying).
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Postby SpiderBoots » Tue 12 Jul, 2011 19:50

I can understand how your girlfriend feels (i've been there!) it hurts when a partner doesn't want you in the way you want them and you can't help let it effect your self esteem, if you are also cutting yourself off from her emotionally she probably thinks you are having second thoughts about being in a relationship with her.
If you love her you need to show her, be romantic, hold hands, go on dates and have a cheeky snog at the cinema :) Tell her how you feel about her and how having a rubbish time with your health is the only reason you don't want sex.
If you love someone you don't need 'ripping clothes off with your teeth' type passion (again- I've been there) as long as your partner makes you feel special and wanted.

Louise
x
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Postby Fire » Tue 12 Jul, 2011 20:19

Tell her when you’re feeling “betterâ€
Image
Burn
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Bit Graphic for some so read with caution!!!

Postby Jon » Wed 13 Jul, 2011 21:17

Well my friend go and get a testosterone check done at your clinic. (a simple blood test done first thing in the morning when your testosterone is at its highest)
Most CF guys have lower testosterone than normal (yer like we need another issue as well...... :roll: )
BUT..... and this is the good bit.....you can have something done about that.....
Testosterone replacement therapy!!!!!! (a male HRT) It is applied each day as a gel patch. Totally painless (if a bit cold).
MY GOD!!!! what a difference...... And not just in the sex department which of course it does immensely help with, think of it like a super Viagra.... (harder, longer, more often...... sorry if a bit graphic for some but it is what you want to know...)
But also you will have FAR more energy during the day too. I can quite literally tell you it has changed my life totally.
Now my lung function is just about the same as it was before the treatment but I feel far fitter, can walk further, exercise harder and generally have the enthusiasm to get up and do more. Best drug treatment I have had in years...I kid you not!
If you want to know any more about it just ask me, happy to advise
Give it a go, trust me.......
Oh and when you go and ask for the test......don't walk...RUN!!!!!! :P
Image

Kind regards, Jonathan
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Re: Bit Graphic for some so read with caution!!!

Postby mad-lin » Wed 13 Jul, 2011 21:28

Jon wrote:Well my friend go and get a testosterone check done at your clinic. (a simple blood test done first thing in the morning when your testosterone is at its highest)
Most CF guys have lower testosterone than normal (yer like we need another issue as well...... :roll: )
BUT..... and this is the good bit.....you can have something done about that.....
Testosterone replacement therapy!!!!!! (a male HRT) It is applied each day as a gel patch. Totally painless (if a bit cold).
MY GOD!!!! what a difference...... And not just in the sex department which of course it does immensely help with, think of it like a super Viagra.... (harder, longer, more often...... sorry if a bit graphic for some but it is what you want to know...)
But also you will have FAR more energy during the day too. I can quite literally tell you it has changed my life totally.
Now my lung function is just about the same as it was before the treatment but I feel far fitter, can walk further, exercise harder and generally have the enthusiasm to get up and do more. Best drug treatment I have had in years...I kid you not!
If you want to know any more about it just ask me, happy to advise
Give it a go, trust me.......
Oh and when you go and ask for the test......don't walk...RUN!!!!!! :P


I wouldn't mind some of that :D :lol:
lmad
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Postby me » Wed 13 Jul, 2011 21:55

me too! ive always thought 'if only women could have a bit of testosterone' sounds amazing to me
Sarah 29 wcf.
me
 
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Postby Jon » Wed 13 Jul, 2011 22:01

Hi Me
Well women do have testosterone....just doesn't work in the same way it does for men I am afraid, but normal female HRT WILL.....just not normally prescribed to women until the onset of the menopause. But it does explain why a women's sex drive can go ballistic in their mid to late 40's and early 50's........ :lol:
Fella's....take note!!!!! :wink:
Image

Kind regards, Jonathan
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Postby mad-lin » Wed 13 Jul, 2011 22:20

Jon wrote:Hi Me
Well women do have testosterone....just doesn't work in the same way it does for men I am afraid, but normal female HRT WILL.....just not normally prescribed to women until the onset of the menopause. But it does explain why a women's sex drive can go ballistic in their mid to late 40's and early 50's........ :lol:
Fella's....take note!!!!! :wink:


hey yes your right, although not 100% sure it was the HRT or my new lungs :lol:
That was a while back, now enjoy a quiet life in my old age :? :lol:
lmad
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Postby mad-lin » Wed 13 Jul, 2011 22:21

Jon wrote:Hi Me
Well women do have testosterone....just doesn't work in the same way it does for men I am afraid, but normal female HRT WILL.....just not normally prescribed to women until the onset of the menopause. But it does explain why a women's sex drive can go ballistic in their mid to late 40's and early 50's........ :lol:
Fella's....take note!!!!! :wink:


hey yes your right, although not 100% sure it was the HRT or my new lungs.
That was a while back, now enjoy a quiet life in my old age :? :lol:
lmad
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Postby mad-lin » Thu 14 Jul, 2011 16:32

MyJuliet wrote:Spam post removed by Moderator


not sure if you are on a troll mission here! if not opologies
lmad
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Postby Moderator » Thu 14 Jul, 2011 19:15

It was spam - the links in the signature were all commercial. All gone now. :)

Moderator.
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